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Finally, Tiger Woods and I have something in common besides scars on our knees.
Our golf instructor.
After Hank Haney finished two weeks of work with his one and only professional pupil, helping him prepare for the Masters, then spending a near-miss week with Woods at Augusta National, Haney adjourned Monday to the more relaxed environment of May River Golf Club in Bluffton, S.C. It's just a skulled wedge shot from Hilton Head Island.
That's where Haney, fresh off working on the greatest golf game ever created, laid eyes on my so-called game.
I was at the beautiful May River to get a look at Haney's International Junior Golf Academy and see him work with a couple of the teen-aged students. You'll get to see them, too, during a Golf Channel reality series on Haney's academy scheduled to debut in September.
As a bonus, we were invited to play golf with the promise Haney would join us for a few holes.
That, of course, is like asking Wolfgang Puck to sample the pasta you make for the family.
Haney is a very nice man, who seems almost uncomfortable with the attention he gets for being Woods' second set of eyes. He's not trying to be a star.
He's a golf instructor and he knows every game -- even Woods' -- needs work.
And Haney willingly laid his healing hands on my game. The Pope was too busy.
Haney likes to show you how a swing should look and feel. Too many instructors, he said, talk too much. He's short on words and long on helping you feel the right way to make a swing.
That means having you stand at address and allowing him to manipulate the club and your body to the proper spots like you're a mannequin holding a 7-iron. He does it with Woods, which is why you see Woods constantly checking club positions on practice swings, and he does it with 8-handicappers.
You're probably wondering how it feels to play golf with Haney watching -- intently.
Intimidating comes to mind.
Please God, don't let me hit a rocket that sends him ducking a screaming Titleist comes to mind, too.
But if you go to the doctor and something's bothering you, you tell him, right?
When Hank Haney, who makes house calls for Woods, is standing there, you ask him for help. I'd like to say I hit it as pure as a baby's smile while he watched, but I didn't. No reason to give him a false impression.
We talked about putting, where I consistently get it close from inside 6 feet. I explained how I try to putt, then he explained how to do it properly.
Woods, he mentioned, rotates the putter 11 degrees during his stroke, 41/2 degrees open going back, 61/2 degrees closed on the follow through.
I told him I usually rotate between making a 5 or a 6 on most par 4s. He dropped a ball on the green and told me to prepare to putt. Then he grabbed the putter, showed me how to put a slight arc in my stroke and -- this might surprise you -- he's onto something.
He gave me a tip about my takeaway on full swings after I produced a hook that could land a whale.
And then, for my sake and everyone who plays with me, I asked him to help me with bunker shots. I have two basic bunker shots -- the fat, scoop that looks like a 6-year-old digging on the beach and a blade only Gillette could love.
Woods makes sand play look ridiculously simple.
I make it look like a rifle range.
So Hank watched me hit a handful of shots, none of which injured anyone and all of which managed to finish on the green. He complimented me on the first part of my swing, told me what to do to fix the rest and -- this might surprise you again -- he's onto something else.
My Christmas card list.
IN MY OPINION Ron
Green Jr.