Purists probably wouldn't call the activity that I enjoy camping, which is one reason I never invite any purists to come with me.
Purists will tell you that camping is what comes at the end of a long, hard day of hiking, a day spent toting a heavy pack through the wilderness, stopping only occasionally to nibble on wild grains and nuts, and to sip distilled water.
Purists will also tell you that camping involves a minimalist supper of boiled noodles, warmed over a tiny gas stove, followed by a night of sleep with nothing between them and the cold, hard ground but a thin layer of sleeping bag.
Long live the purists!
As for me, I'll continue to practice the form of camping my old friend Kevin Ellis and I have taken more than 15 years to refine, to purify, and to perfect.
Ellis, now an editor at the Gaston Gazette, with whom I worked for about seven years at the Morganton News Herald, has the same checklist for a successful camping trip that I do.
At the top of that list is a clean, comfortable, scenic, and safe campsite, no more than a few feet from a parking space. Such sites can be had at any number of locations in Western North Carolina. Our personal favorite is at South Mountains State Park.
The nearby parking is essential to fully enjoy the second necessity for a great camping adventure: namely, food and lots of it.
The third ingredient without which no camping trip can be considered a success is a fire ring, fire pit, or fire circle, and a small forest of dry, seasoned wood to be burned within it.
As the hours between supper and bedtime will be spent mainly telling stories, spinning tales and cracking jokes around this campfire, the fourth item of necessity is a comfortable camp chair, preferably one with a pocket in the arm rest to hold a drink cup.
The fifth and final item on the successful camping trip checklist is that which separates men from animals and purists from those who relish a good night's sleep -- a comfortable air mattress.
The older I grow and the balkier my lower back becomes, the more important it is that a warm and firm distance be established between me and the ground.
As I said, it has taken Ellis and me a decade and a half of practice to know just what we need and just how to proceed, but we have now nearly attained camping perfection.
We arrive at the camping area during late morning, around 11 or so. This way, we don't hurry the previous night's campers into leaving, but we do beat the usual afternoon influx and are able to nab a prime campsite.
After setting up the tent -- which can take two guys who resemble the Three Stooges longer than expected -- the next order of business is cooking lunch. Grilled burgers or grilled brats -- or both -- are excellent choices.
The afternoon brings a hike. Nothing too strenuous, but certainly long enough to work off some of the effects of lunch and to help build an appetite for supper.
Before preparing the evening meal, it is best to build the campfire and enjoy some time simply sitting and snacking before supper preparations begin.
Supper is always the same -- New York strip steaks grilled to perfection, baked potatoes warmed in the edge of the campfire, and salad. A rich and calorie-ridden dessert is absolutely essential, preferably an apple pie or a chocolate cake.
As I said, the hours between supper and bedtime are best spent telling lies and swapping stories around the campfire. And, no matter how large or filling the dinner, an assortment of snacks and cold beverages must be kept readily at hand.
After a good and long night's sleep (see air mattress above), what must also be readily at hand are the ingredients for a great camp breakfast -- ingredients that usually include sausage or country ham, scrambled eggs and camp-fried potatoes.
No, purists would not call what we do camping.
But we surely do call it fun. IN MY OPINION Bill
Poteat
